Beth's Story: A Free Christian Read. Jesus Saves.

 

A sweet longer salvation story now in one place. :)

Chapter One

As I open my laptop, I wonder whether my project is remotely do-able. Will I be able to portray with any accuracy, the incredible journey which I've been on? A journey which started when I was a young married woman and has stretched into the evening of my life? I hope to. My heart yearns to help other women, or even men, who are on this journey themselves, but I am aware of the enormity of the task. I bow my head and pray. "Jesus, I can't do this alone. I can't do life alone, and I can't write this story alone. Please guide me and supply the words."

***

We fell in love in a pretty ordinary sort of way, Nathan and I. We both worked at the same large retailer, he up in the office, and me, on the floor. I fell in love with his laugh and with the twinkle in his green eyes. Nathan had a way of making me smile on my dreariest day. The kind with nightmare customers and uncoperative staff. I soon realized that he would make a point of walking past me on his way to wherever he was headed.

"Beth," he announced one day, as I was standing on a step ladder, checking stock, "I don't think I can go on with our relationship as it is." He grinned as my head whipped around.

"Our relationship?"

He grinned in that delightfully boyish way he has, "yes. I just never get enough time with you, Beth." He glanced ruefully at the pile of stock sheets in his arms. "That's why I'm asking if you'd like to have dinner with me."

My eyes met his pleading ones and I knew what I had to say. "I'd like that," I smiled, and Nathan's face lit up. He hurried off, leaving me to daydream about what our first date would be like and what I would wear.

I was not a very confident young woman, and never considered myself to be particularly attractive. I usually wore my light brown hair pulled back in a ponytail for work. I was slim, but I thought my brown eyes and freckles made me rather ordinary. I soon discovered that Nathan's opinion of me differed vastly to my own, and I cherished his compliments.

"I love the way your freckles dance across your nose." I was sitting opposite Nathan on that first date, when he paid me that compliment. We both talked a blue streak that night. I don't remember what we ate, I only remember enjoying Nathan's company so much that I agreed to a second date. I loved that he was a gentleman and did nothing more than tap me playfully on my nose.

I imagine that you have already guessed what happened next. We fell in love. Each date led to another. Sometimes we'd go for long strolls on the beach; at other times, we'd go for a drive in the country, stopping at some romantic restaurant for lunch. Of course, we saw each other at work each day too, and all the staff, and even some of the customers knew that Beth Morgan and Nathan Harris were a serious item.

"Would you like the whole big church wedding thing, or should we just go to the court and splurge on a big honeymoon?" Nathan asked me one day after he'd proposed. The proposal had satisfied every romantic dream I cherished: we'd been walking hand in hand along the beach, when Nathan stooped and seemed to pick up a shell. Then turning to me he'd opened it to reveal the prettiest ring. "Hmm, I'm not sure," I laughed, "I've always dreamed of a fairytale wedding, but a special honeymoon sounds nice too. It's not really important where we get married. I just want to be with you."

Back then, I didn't see a need for God to be part of our marriage or lives. My parents had always claimed to be agnostic, and I had almost no knowledge of anything spiritual. Nathan had been brought up in a nominally Christian home. The kind where children are taken to Easter and Christmas services.

Nathan shrugged. "Whatever makes you happy Beth. We've got time to think about it."

In the end, we did get married in church. The same church which Nathan had so sporadically attended as a boy. I pause now in my typing, and smile. I am so glad we did. We were completely unaware of it at the time, but God was there with us as we said our vows. He knew what the future held, and He was watching over us even though we hadn't a clue.

***

Chapter Two

I take a sip of tea, and then begin typing again. The words come fairly easily as I remember those early years. After a short honeymoon, we moved into a two-bedroom duplex in a large family friendly neighbourhood. It had a sweet little garden which came with a lemon tree and two rose bushes: one peachy-cream, the other, white. Life continued much the usual way: Nathan and I both worked at the same retailer, although now Nathan had his eye on a senior manager position. In other ways, our lives were completely altered. I was now a wife, and Nathan, a husband, with all the responsibilities, joys, and tensions that those positions hold.

Love kept us together though, through differences, squabbles and more serious arguments.

"Beth, this yolk is too runny. I told you I like firm yolks." Nathan poked at the offending egg one morning as we ate breakfast. "And we don't even have a dog to give it to."

I flung down my fork, and pushed my chair away from the table, and ran from the kitchen in tears.

Nathan remained at the table. He had no clue how to fix things, but I give him credit for at least eating the distasteful eggs.

Before we left for work, he wrapped his arms around me. "I'm sorry, Beth. Forgive me?"

I nodded. It felt good to be in his arms; to feel the tension leave my body.

In those early years, we didn't do much communicating. It was more a matter of venting our frustrations before sweeping them under the rug. Where they'd stay until the next grievance arose. You may be thinking that we were an unhappy pair, but that wasn't really the case. Not then. We were very much in love, but we had no compass. Lost, and without God, we fumbled along as best we could through married life.

I'm sighing inwardly as I read what I've just typed. If only we had been Christians right from the start. But you can't go back. Now, in my sixties, I look back to those long ago days, and they seem a little misty now. But they are part of my story, of who I am, of who we now are as a couple, and I can see how God has brought good out of our blunders.

***

I snuggled against Nathan as we watched a romantic comedy. Nathan placed his arm around my shoulder and sighed happily. "I love you Beth."

"I love you too," I smiled, "Let's do this every week. I never want the romantic moments to stop."

"They won't," Nathan assured me, "I plan on being Mr. Romantic for the rest of our lives."

"I guess I'll have to be Mrs. Romantic then," I giggled, then snuggled closer, "I'm so glad we got married."

***

We went on dates, took long walks on the beach, and painted the house together. For the most part, we were completely focused on each other, and in my case, that led to problems not far into our marriage.

"Don't bother making supper for me tonight." Nathan announced one day. "Gavin, Neill and I are getting together at the pub after work. We'll probably play some pool, then grab something to eat."

Fear and jealousy clutched at my heart. This was a new feeling for me. Nathan had never given me cause to doubt him, but suddenly, I hated the thought of him going out with his friends and leaving me behind. "Must you?" I pulled a face. "Why can't I go too?"

Nathan looked puzzled. "Lindsey and Tamara aren't going to be there. Just us men. Don't worry, I won't stay out too late."

I sulked all the way to work, and kissed Nathan woodenly when we arrived. My sulk had no effect, other than to make Nathan more determined to go out without me. It was our first major disagreement. I thought of getting back at him by going out with my own friends, but decided to stay home and let Nathan know how miserable and put out I was.

***

I laugh a little to myself, and Nathan pops his head around the door and asks me what I'm laughing about. "Remember that time we had that big row when you went out without me?" I shake my head. "I can't believe how I was back then, before I was saved."

"Well," Nathan's eyes twinkled, "you were pretty jealous, but I had plenty of my own sins." He kisses me then, and I think how handsome he still looks and how very much I love him. I praise God for His love, which now flows through us. Nathan is so very precious to me, but he is in his rightful place now, as the head of our home. It is God, however, who sits on the throne of my heart.

***

How about you, dear reader, do you look back and see how far God has brought you? Do you remember the day Jesus saved you, and realize how very much you've grown and changed? If you are not saved, call on Him and repent of your sin. He will save you.

 

Chapter Three

My phone rings, and I leave off typing to answer the call. It's my son, Noah. Odd, I think, I was just thinking about him. "Hi Mom, I thought I'd check up on you and Dad. How are things?" Noah's cheerful voice, so much like Nathan's rings through the speaker.

"We're doing well. How about you? And Nina and the kids?"

"Everyone's fine, barring a couple of colds. How's your memoir coming along?"

"Not too bad. I was just about to write about how you came into our lives." I smile, remembering, "You were the cutest baby on the block."

"Well, nothing much has changed. Just that I'm the cutest guy on the block now. At least, Nina thinks so." We laugh, then chat a bit longer about the twins, Sarah and Simone, and their latest antics. After we end the call, I am flooded by memories: the day of Noah's birth, his early days with us, his first birthday, along with a parade of milestones. I get ready to type the next chapter, but I quickly realize that I can't begin with Noah's birth. I need to go back further, to the early months of my marriage.

***

Like most couples, Nathan and I assumed that falling pregnant was a given. Most couples we knew had easily started their families a few months into their marriages. Not so for us. We reached the end of our second year without so much as one positive pregnancy test. I became more and more worried and fearful as the months went by. Nathan seemed less concerned. He was able to mentally adjust to the idea of a childless marriage more easily than I was. "Don't stress, Beth. You may still fall pregnant. And if not, we'll still have each other." Nathan tried to cheer me up as we watched our weekly movie. Unfortunately, the movie was about a family with several children, and it caused my fears to surface once more. I sniffed and blinked back tears. "But I want a baby so much. I don't think I'll be able to stand it if we can't have one."

"I tell you what," said Nathan, as he drew me close, "we'll give it five more months. After that, we can both go for tests. At least then, we'll know where we stand."

***

The doctor's pronouncement fell on our ears with grim finality. The problem lay with Nathan. He would never be able to father a child. We returned home in an awkward and strained silence. Nathan tried apologizing, but there wasn't much point. I assured him that I didn't blame him, that it wasn't his fault, and we went on as best we could. I painted a smile on my face, but inside I was an emotional mess. On my worst days, I'd lie beside my husband at night and wonder why I had married him. And I knew that I would have been holding a baby by then if I'd married someone else.

***

It's so very painful to go back to those days. Nathan and I seemed to have reached an impassable barrier. He brought up the possibility of adoption, but I wouldn't consider it. Our marriage suffered horribly under the strain, and it was a miracle that it didnt disintegrate right there and then.

***

Dear Reader,

I am sure that you have been through your own share of pain, trouble, hardship, and loss.

As you look back, can you see how God comforted, sheltered and carried you?

Love and prayers. 🙏🙏🙏🩷💜🩷

 

Chapter Four

"Those were hard times." I sigh as we snuggle on the couch, the evening of Noah's phone call. 

"We both went into a downward spiral," Nathan agrees, "I might not always have shown it, but my world was caving in. I could tell you thought less of me. I began to feel like half a man."

"I wish I could go back and change the way I acted." I sighed. "It was so wrong."

"But God made everything right, didn't He?"

"He did." We hold hands, and I remember, exactly how.

***

Several bleak months passed after the doctor's announcement. I went through the motions of my life woodenly. I felt empty inside, and I struggled to see any purpose in life. Nathan was struggling too, but I didn't do anything to help him. So we swept our sizeable problem under the proverbial rug. Not finding any comfort in me, Nathan turned to his job and began focusing on becoming the best manager he could be. Instead of taking a holiday, he used up his leave on an out of town managerial course.

I became more depressed and angry. Now Nathan had given me more to stew over by abandoning me. The first light came with an invitation to church from my best friend Isabella. "Just give it a chance, Beth. What have you got to lose? Besides, I need company too, what with Paul away on a business trip. Tell you what," she added, "if you really hate it, I won't bug you again."

I agreed, but only because Isabella was my friend, and I needed support so badly. She'd been the shoulder I'd cried on since my life began to crumble, and I knew she cared and wanted to help. Isabella had recently become a Christian, and wanted to spread the joy. She also informed me that Nathan and I were at the top of her prayer list.

***

I was taken aback by the loving and friendly atmosphere at Isabella's church. An indefinable longing stirred in my heart during the singing of "Softly and Tenderly," and "Amazing Grace." But neither song touched my heart as much as the pastor's description of the Lamb who was slain, from the foundation of the world for my sin. As the pastor told about God's great gift of His Son, I dared to hope. I wasn't there yet, but I began to long for the tender love of God.

***

"For all have sinned and have fallen short of the glory of God," the pastor insisted solemnly, "no one can can gain entrance into heaven through good works." I stumbled over that idea. Surely I wasn't a bad person. I'd always worked hard and, what's more, I gave to charity. I wanted to believe in the good God that the pastor described, but I wasn't too keen on the concept of judgement and hell. This was my fourth visit to the church. Something, or rather, Someone, was drawing me back. I had many questions, which Isabella and her pastor were happy to answer. Now, I had to spend some time pondering all I had learned. 

***

Isabella encouraged me to talk to the pastor about my disappointment and my pain. I hesitated at first, but I was desperate for answers, so I poured out my heart to the kind elderly gentleman. Although I felt relief when I finished, I wondered whether he could possibly help me.

"Beth, Jesus bore your sin on the cross. He is a God who saves us from our sin, and He is a God who understands suffering. He suffered too. He took on human form, and he experienced pain Himself. Beth, will you let Him carry your pain? Will you ask Him to save you?"

***

Scripture: Roman's 3:23

🙏🩷💜🤗

Beth has reached an important junction in her life. The question the pastor asks at the end of the chapter, is one we all need to ask ourselves and others.

What will you do? Will you accept Jesus' free gift of salvation?

Chapter Five

After speaking with Pastor Owen, I quickly explained to Isabella that I wouldn't be having coffee with her, and took myself off to the beach. The same beach where Nathan had proposed to me. I didn't walk far, before sitting down on the warm sand. I stared at the waves, but they soon became blury as tears began to stream down my face. My own pain over not being able to have a baby was pushed aside, as I realized what a mess I'd made of things, and what a terrible, selfish person I was.

I prayed not one word about pregnancy or babies as I wept on the beach: only that Jesus would have mercy on me; a sinner, as I trusted in Him to save me.

***

I think I floated home. One of the first things I did was to find Nathan's Bible. I read for a while, then went off in search of my husband. I found him in the garden, and simply wrapped my arms around him. "Can we go sit on the couch? There's something I really need to say."

***

"The change in you was incredible. I kept staring at you and wondering what had happened to you. You told me, of course, but I didn't get it at first." Nathan smiles. We're in the garden again, one of our favourite places to spend time together. "I fell in love with you all over again."

I smile back. "It was God's doing. He made me see how selfish and awful I'd been, and that I needed to love and honour you."

"I wasn't so easy to love back then, was I? It took me a little while before I saw my own need for God."

***

It wasn't always easy: not loving Nathan, nor coming to terms with our childlessness, but with the Holy Spitit's leading, I was learning to trust God, and to put Him first. I prayed about everything, even daring to ask God for the seemingly impossible: that we would become parents one day.

***

😊🌻💕🤗🙏

 

Chapter Six

"Hurry up, Beth. We're going to get stuck in traffic if we don't move now." Nathan shouted up the stairs.

I sighed, and prayed as I grabbed my bag. Nathan could be so impatient at times. I resisted the urge to snap at him, and got quietly into the car.

There would be many tests after that special day on the beach when I was saved. I was far from perfect, and a baby Christian, but Jesus was with me every step of the way. I also felt a growing love for Nathan. I saw him through God's eyes now, and began to pray earnestly for his salvation.

***

"I remember how happy you were. You seemed to glow. Your happiness no longer depended on getting pregnant. It came from Jesus." Nathan places his arm around my shoulder. We're sitting in our usual spot, but we're not watching anything. We don't need to. "I started to think around then. And I started wanting what you had."

I smile. "We had some special conversations back then, about God and the Bible. And I loved you more than ever."

"And then, God gave us a miracle." Unashamed, Nathan allows his eyes to fill with tears. I can only nod, as tears of joy fill mine too. 

***

I remember that day so clearly. It was more or less a year after I gave my life to Jesus; the day I knew: we were going to have a baby. I'd been puzzled for a couple of months as to why my period had not arrived in its usual way. Given the circumstances, I never gave pregnancy the slightest thought. It was Isabella who had the faith to go to the pharmacy and buy a test. The whole day was a happy blur of wonderment, incredulity, and joy. I phoned Nathan, who was working that Saturday. I stumbled and cried over my words as I told him about the test. An hour later, he was by my side, having left work early.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded. "The lines are very clear. And I did it exactly right. Look." My hands shook as I showed him the plastic tube. Nathan took it and stared at it. "Maybe do another one tomorrow?"

"Isabella suggested that too," I said, "but you need to know, Nathan, I've been feeling nauseous and tired. Those are two of the symptoms."

We sank onto the couch then, and just held each other for a long while.

***

Noah Isaac Harris arrived with a healthy cry seven months later. To Nathan and I, he was the most perfect and the most miraculous little person ever born. We'd journeyed joyously through pregnancy together. In fact, the time felt like a very special honeymoon. Nathan, overcome with awe and gratitude, knelt before our Saviour's cross not long after my second pregnancy test confirmed what we knew. 

***

Now, as I type these lines, the tears flow once more. My heart bursts with love and gratitude. I type, "God is good. God is so, so good". Yes, He is.

***

Chapter Seven

I feel a rightness about ending my abbreviated story at chapter seven. In the Bible, the number seven speaks of completion. Obviously, our journey continued after Noah's birth, but his arrival signified the completion of our little family unit. 

Noah was such a happy, cheerful baby. His sunny disposition stayed with him, and he is still one of the happiest people I know. As a child, he filled our lives with laughter and fun. Of course, he wasn't perfect, and got into his share of trouble and mischief. He especially enjoyed playing a prank or two, on both us, and his friends.

When Noah started school, we began to accept that Noah would most likely be our only child, unless God granted us a second miracle. After prayerfully considering adoption, we both felt that God was saying no. He impressed upon both of us that missions lay in our future.

So, we both retired early, and laid down everything to follow His call to Mozambique. We've kept the same small house as our base for when we're on furlough, as is now the case.

I'm going to finish up this short story of salvation now. Noah and his family are coming over for the day, and I can't wait to spend time with them all.

In closing, I'd like to thank you for taking the time to read my testimony. I hope that it will help and encourage you. 

Nathan and I were blessed with an incredible miracle: a beautiful baby boy. A gift we never thought we'd be given. But I must add, that there is a greater miracle still: the miracle of second birth. 

The greatest miracle happened to us when we were saved by Jesus. And now, I must ask you dear reader, will you let Him save you too?

Copyright: Alison Lawrence

Love and prayers

💕🙏🤗🙏

Please share

E-mail: alison.westcoast@gmail.com